Do you know at what point children begin to swear with mate and beat their classmates? When they have to prove time and time again that they exist. Such «I am». When a person is not used to being seen when he is just a mote in the classroom. And he has to work to be considered as being.
Naturally, I am far from saying that the last terrible cases can be justified only by the fact that we, adults, behaved incorrectly. It’s about crimes — possibly committed by people with mental disabilities. It is, of course, impossible to justify this. But you can explain.
We ourselves are humanizing our children. In the so-called «educational process» adults often only do what they say: to every question there is one well-known and correct answer. At the same time, the strength and ability to insist at any price on its own are extolled as the highest valor. So, the spring contracts — once, twice, three times. Another two, another humiliation, an insult … And there is still no way to react to them. The human way.
My friends, with deep sorrow, are forced to say: more often than not, it is the demand of obtuse submission and the desire to comb all of them with the same brush that causes violence. And vice versa: the opportunity to be yourself generates confidence and peace, removes the need to constantly prove your own right to exist.
People who live well, do not swing an ax at others, do not seek to deprive themselves of life and themselves
Paradoxically, it turns out that the key to solving the problem lies in the box, the existence of which we have long forgotten. If a person has the opportunity to come to someone and say: «Explain, please — I do not understand why I need this task in mathematics,» or get a «pair» in Russian and ask: «Help me understand what I did not do so «, or simply complain:» I’m so lonely, I do not know how to deal with this «- he does not need to use aggression as an instrument.
A boy who came to school with an ax or a knife did not find another way to express himself. There was not a person who would accept him without conditions — the way he is. He could not come to the teacher at that moment and say: «Something is happening to me. It hurts and pains me. » Or complain about the same to mom or dad.
People who live well, do not swing an ax at others, do not seek to deprive themselves of life and their own kind (and yes, it’s us, the adults, are responsible for what is bad for them). So do not behave people who know how to cope with difficult situations in other ways (yes, we could not teach them to behave with the world in a human way). So do not behave people who value life — as someone else’s, and their (and yes, we have devalued in their eyes their own lives).
Our children need to be taught that the world is not one-dimensional, on the contrary — it is multifaceted and complex. And that the place in it is for each of us
Let’s assume for a moment that the affair really was in deuce, as they told us in TV reports. That the child was injured and upset that he did not know how to behave properly, that he did not feel the strength to take and correct the assessment. Where should he go in such a situation? To parents? And if they have already expressed their attitude with something like «another two — blame yourself»? And then you know that there are lots of options. In one case, this «blame yourself» means «forget about the birthday present.» In another — «we will deprive you of everything that you value.» In the third — and at all we will beat. Go to the teachers? But are they ready to give substantive support? To friends? But even with friends everything can be very difficult.
Most of the children today were deprived of basic human rights: the right to protection. How often do adults, justified by some higher considerations, essentially unite against children in general and a particular child in particular? What should a person do in such a situation, how to resist evil and injustice? How to continue to live, when it seems that the whole world is against you, when so bad that you want to disappear, and you feel in a vacuum, from which you start frantically looking for a way out? Sometimes, unfortunately, there is only such a way out — very, very scary.
I am sure that there is a cure for this terrible disease: returning a person to himself. Our children need to be taught that the world is not one-dimensional, on the contrary — it is multifaceted and complex. And that the place in it is for each of us. We adults should take care of our children’s address, which is not terrible to address in case of trouble. Today’s generation does not have such an address.
And finally. Do not you think that we are talking about any abstract topics, except the most important — practical? Namely — how do I, an adult, become the person to whom the child can come and talk on any exciting topic? And if our children suddenly become so bad that they want to take an ax, so that at that moment they knew that there is at least one person on earth who they can tell about it?